Tuesday, March 27, 2012

For My Brother's Graduation



Monday, March 12, 2012

Tips on Singing: Karaoke How To's

In recent times singing has become all the more prevalent in almost every social gatherings due to the omnipresent Karaoke Machine. In most birthday parties, for example, the Karaoke is given more importance in being secured than the archaic birthday cake. The Karaoke machine became a staple from christenings to corporate retreats. That being said the ability to carry a tune becomes a common ability one must possess and while some may easily belt out like a spinto soprano, for many, to sing out of the comforts of their showers is a singularly daunting ordeal.

   Here are ten tips to spare you from total humiliation. Remember that there is a fine line between singing and screeching, don't cross it; 

1. Prepare! Sing songs you already know or you've already sang. 
2. Pick a song suited for your vocal range (Disparaging Aretha Franklin by harping like a banshee is not what's considered vocal acrobatics). 
3. Do your own rendition; you do not have to do it the way the original performer made every hook and riff. 
4. Drink up! Alcohol will loosen you up and get rid of your inhibitions (Not remembering what you did the day after is an added bonus). 
5. Casually set expectations. Letting them know you've no idea what your doing would make for a less critical audience. 
6. Stage Presence is key (If you look good while doing it, they may not notice your tone deaf).
i. Pout while waiting for your cue, press lips together lightly and exhale.
ii. Smize.    
iii. Sway to the rhythm and keep it upbeat.      
iv. Take cue from Ms. Pempengco and juggle that mic.
7. If the note is too high, urge your audience to sing along (Their unison droning will drown out your squealing).  
8. Do a duet with someone who's able to sing well. Make sure you let them sing the difficult parts
9. Sing after someone who's a lousier singer. The one who goes first will set the precedence.
10. Pick a song in a foreign language, ideally from the romantic languages like french (They'd have no idea whether you're already out of tune or if your even saying the words right).
Below are different occasions with the appropriate songs you can perform;

The Suicidal or Me Against the World Pity Party 

It's Sad to Belong by England Dan & John Ford Coley
Jolene by Dolly Parton
I Write the Songs by Barry Manilow
Is It OK if I Call You Mine by Paul McCrane 

Seduce The Guy in The Audience Songs
Tainted Love by Marilyn Manson
Stupid Cupid by Connie Francis

Friends/ Girls Night Out 
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun by Busby Marou
Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weeny Yellow Polka Dot Bikini by Brian Hyland

Vomit Worthy Moments with Lovers 
Happy Together by The Turtles
Laughter in the Rain by Neil Sedaka
I Just Called to Say I love you by Stevie Wonder
Just the Way You Are by Billy Joel

Christmas Party  
Santa Baby by Eartha Kitt
All Occasion Songs with Singer-friendly Octaves 
Buttercup by The Foundations
In The Navy by The Village People
Dancing Queen by ABBA

One Note Samba by Tom Jobim

Wednesday, March 7, 2012

The Barely Breathing Child


                The child smiles, beaming with pure joy at the sights of the pastel coloured bears that dance atop the white cradle filled with pillows. Reaching out to catch the cause of the child’s stir, the baby falls on to the cushion. Beaming in spite of the falter, the attempt to reach the trinkets continues.
                The cries pierce every corner of the warm cosy house, but the jostle of the marketplace outside gives no notice. The milk did little to satisfy the hunger; the blisters from the rash further irritated, urging a scream for help. Finally, the child’s grandmother came and the ensuing embrace calmed the stubborn cries, cooing it to little sobs.
                Rain seeped into the house. River-water and rain met, flooding the little stories in a small cramped room. The stories that makes the child smile are now drenched in the flood. The lines from which formed and gave image are now smudges of colours, undistinguishable from one another. One by one the stories became nothing more than a mass of soggy paper.
                The child awoke in the stark room. Walking silently in the creaking wooden floor, chatter from below the landing can be heard. The child climbed down the wooden stairs with hangings of oriental maidens in promenade. People were gathered in front of the stove cooking and chatting. The child is not allowed to join in the conversations.
                The water tower stood high and unyielding. The child was sketching beneath the shade of a tree, cooled by the steady breeze of the sleepy afternoon. The grass swayed lazily as the child marched towards the tall tower ahead.  The child grasps the rusty handles of the rickety ladder, climbing steadily and nonchalant. Fear, courage and pride swept the child in successive turns yet the child did not know it then. Night came and the stars above the indigo skies glisten as if in salute of the feat while below the chorus of the various chirps and buzzes breathed through the silence.
                  Various palettes of colours in little round cases from sweet melon to glittery pinks are the child’s most kept secret. The child hid those in a green bag with torn straps carefully sewed back together by the loving grandmother. The child brings these little secrets to everywhere the child goes to. The other children found the little secret; they tried to keep it for themselves. The other children rubbed the powdered colours onto their faces. Spume of anger waived and the child shook. The other children dropped, ruined and spoiled the pretty colours; breaking the little cases so it couldn’t be closed any longer. The other children broke the strap of the little green bag.
                The winds were strong lifting debris wherever it goes. The rain harassed the tall grasses in the field beyond. Lightning sashayed from the sky in quick successions. Thunder roared in sonorous unison with the fear it brings into the hearts of those who listens. Outside of the paint-less house the child holds onto the pillars, awaiting the onrush of the powerful gust of wind. The child feels like flying whenever the wind swoops past the child; again and again try as it might the wind cannot move the child whose hold onto the pillar is tight. 
                Rain made drip-drop sounds beyond the window’s screen. The child awakens with the whistle of the child’s own breathing. Chest clenched from an unseen binding and an intense itching from the bites of little critters while in slumber, the child set out from the green-greyish unfamiliar bed.  

Sunday, March 4, 2012

Tips for Shopaholics: Beat the Urge to Splurge


I used to be a really compulsive shopper. I've been employed for almost three years now and have nothing to show for it other than the massive pile of garments that occupy two closets and a half, towering stacks of shoeboxes and a heap full of bags in dust-jackets. I don't suffer from the compulsions anymore (because I'm broke); here are some tricks that helped:

When you have to pay a trip down your local mall

1. Chew on it for a day or two (If you’re lucky, it'll be sold-out by the time you comeback).
2. Tell yourself you'll buy it when you lose weight (You'll never lose weight so you'll never have to buy).
3. Try to dress up when you go shopping (Anything you try on will look good on you if you go there looking like you've been shipwrecked).
4. Get a friends opinion (To stop you from looking better than they do, the jealous double-crosser will talk you into not buying).

The 'I don't have anything to wear' moments

1. Borrow clothes (I wear my very rich cousin's dresses, without her permission of course).
2. Work with what you already have. If you often wear a particular shirt with denim jeans... try pairing it with a skirt instead.
3. Looking pretty for your crush doesn't count (Don't put much effort to someone who wouldn't even touch you with a 13 inch prodding rod).


Make your current Wardrobe Functional

1. Learn how to mix-and-match.
2. Accessorize (try not to look like you’re out to go fortune telling in Quiapo).
3. Organize so you see every piece of apparel you have available (I'd fit on clothes, roll them up and stash them back again if I don't wear it. I usually end up having an ukay-ukay in my own bedroom).
i. Clothes hanged should be arranged from longer pieces to shorter ones this creates a diagonal free space for use.
ii. Fold using a card board box as an outline. This makes it easier to pile them up.
iii. Separate the black pieces to prevent lint.
iv. Pieces you wear more often should be more accessible than what you're currently not using and are on standby for the "what-if-it-makes-a-comeback".
v. Knitted cardigans should be folded to let their shape last longer.
vi. Hand wash delicate fabrics.
vii. Launder denims inside out to save its color.

4. Try not to give away your old clothes (the hottest look for next season may be the khaki 'six-pockets').
5. Watch DIY tutorials to use your old stuff and make something new out of it (I used my brother's Abercrombie shirt and turned it in to a rosette clip-on for my shoes).

Good-looking people are as what the word implies... good-looking! If you look good you don't need a new outfit every day, I'm not one of those people so Imma go SHOPPING!!!!